Inaugural Post/Introduction

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? … We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

- Akeelah and the Bee

Have you seen Akeelah and the Bee? It’s not really a popular movie, but it is by far one of my favorite movies. It’s about a little girl growing up in an area that isn’t particularly known for academic achievement. But, she has a proclivity and talent for spelling and makes it from her middle school to the national spelling bee stage. She’s an underdog, and it’s inspirational. The quote on the top is from a scene in the movie when her spelling coach is telling her if she wants to succeed, she will have to believe in herself. I guess I identify a lot with that instance, emotion, and struggle.

My parents emigrated from Taiwan when they were graduate students and have settled in the United States after their education in hopes of providing their children a better life than back home. My father has a Ph.D in petroleum engineering, and my mother has two master’s degrees herself. Education was highly valued in our family and growing up my parents instilled the notion that education is a worthy achievement. I’ve heard it is typical of most Asian families to push their children to achieve more than what the “American” schools teach, and my parents were no different. From an early age, they drilled me constantly on anything math related: multiplication tables, division, percentages, fractions, etc. They tried to teach me things that my teachers haven’t even covered, and didn’t cover for another year or two. I don’t know if it was because I was an indolent child, or perhaps just not as intellectual as they were hoping, but I couldn’t meet their expectations and failed miserably. The constant quizzings, and the abuse that surfaced had and still has to this day greatly traumatized me from anything math or science related.

Growing up I was interested in electronics, gadgets, and anything technologically related, but because of my childhood and the dearth of encouragement from my parents I never even thought I would have even a chance to hold a technical profession. So after high school I narrowed down my options to major in International Business for college. I graduated in 2007 and started working at an engineering firm in Southern California in contract management. The very first program I worked on was a DARPA program and a highly abstract idea just making it into fruition about fractionated satellites. I worked with engineers during the proposal phase and was just amazed and intrigued at the advanced concepts, designs and capabilities we (not me, but people around me at the time) possess to turn a novel idea into reality. I had always wanted to be an inventor and innovative products always interested me. In college I had a friend where we would think up of simple improvements to everyday objects but since it was so expensive to develop we never got anywhere. During my first year post-college, I entered into an invention competition for Every Edisons, a television show that selects a number of inventors and portrays the process of developing an invention from prototype to selling on a store shelf. My idea obviously wasn’t selected but that experience triggered a desire to learn more about materials, manufacturing, and how products are made. I remember driving down the freeway with my husband (I married at a young age) complaining that I don’t have the necessary skills to do what I would like to do. I distinctly remember him nonchalantly say, “Well why don’t you get an engineering degree and then you can accomplish what you want to?” At first I balked at his suggestion for all the years of being told I wasn’t bright enough to pursue this career had been deeply ingrained in my brain. Well, after much thinking and thinking I decided to do it. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do whether I consciously knew it or not, and I guess it’s better to try and fail rather than to never try at all.

After much research, I decided to pursue a 2^nd bachelor’s degree in mechanical engineering. While researching and looking for others ‘like me’ I happened to come across a post that my blog partner (Laura) posted on a networking site. We got into contact and I’m glad to say we’ve been able to share our fears and hopes with each other throughout this scary, frustrating but hopefully rewarding ordeal. For me, the hardest issue to overcome (other than the multitude of math classes, and Physics, my nemesis!) is my confidence in myself, pushing aside all those accumulated years of self doubt. I guess I’m rambling too much for this first post, but if I do by a miracle complete this arduous task, I hope to end up in a biomedical/robotics industry creating nifty gadgets to improve the lives of those in third world countries, or even in 1^st world countries (if that’s even a term). I also hope to use my experience to help other girls who may have doubts about themselves to believe and just try, because you never know what may happen.

Outside of school and work (wait, I may be laid off soon!), I like to read, run, swim, play music and just veg out, although those stress relieving activities are quickly diminishing this semester with classes occupying most of my time.

Working part time and attending school full time in a world full of boys are sure to provide tons of blogging material especially in this economy so I hope you stay tuned to what we have to offer and share.